Being a mom is my favorite job in the world. But it isn't at all what I thought it would be. It is more heartbreaking and bittersweet than I ever expected, but also filled with incredulous, wonderful, side-splitting laughter. Yesterday in my writing class, a colleague told the hilarious story of her daughter's embarrassing moment in public, and how she has said things as a mom that she never expected. That got me thinking. I mean, Reed is only two, but I could easily (maybe too easily) compile a list of things I never thought I would say, at least before I became a mom. Please share in the comments some of the things you've said to your kids that you couldn't believe came out of your mouth. It will be so fun!
1. "Get your head out of the toilet."
Ewww... I thought I'd gross you out right away.
2. "Please don't lick the dog."
You'll notice a common theme, here.
3. "You want honey mustard with your fish?"
I keep telling myself this "dip" thing is just a stage.
4. "Don't tell Daddy about the brownies."
Or the cookies. Or the cake. That we made at nine AM just because. Didn't I promise myself we weren't going to eat junk food today?
5. "Please don't lick me."
Seriously?!
Ewww... I thought I'd gross you out right away.
2. "Please don't lick the dog."
You'll notice a common theme, here.
3. "You want honey mustard with your fish?"
I keep telling myself this "dip" thing is just a stage.
4. "Don't tell Daddy about the brownies."
Or the cookies. Or the cake. That we made at nine AM just because. Didn't I promise myself we weren't going to eat junk food today?
5. "Please don't lick me."
Seriously?!
6. "If you are good, I'll give you a sucker."
I swore I would never bribe. That was cute.
7. "Get out of the fish tank... and please put Nemo back."
*Trying to look mad and keep a straight face.*
8. "I can't keep my eyes open." (It was 7 pm)
That's just embarrassing.
9. "I have a booger on my shirt? Oh, that's ok. I'll wash it out later."
Actually around 12:30 today, my friend told me my shirt was inside out. I'd been in class for 4 hours, and I gave a short presentation in that time. Fantastic!
10. "Please don't lick the floor."
Yes, again.
I can't even imagine the directions in which this list will go in the coming years. It is exciting and really terrifying! Please share your memorable moments, too!
I swore I would never bribe. That was cute.
7. "Get out of the fish tank... and please put Nemo back."
*Trying to look mad and keep a straight face.*
8. "I can't keep my eyes open." (It was 7 pm)
That's just embarrassing.
9. "I have a booger on my shirt? Oh, that's ok. I'll wash it out later."
Actually around 12:30 today, my friend told me my shirt was inside out. I'd been in class for 4 hours, and I gave a short presentation in that time. Fantastic!
10. "Please don't lick the floor."
Yes, again.
I can't even imagine the directions in which this list will go in the coming years. It is exciting and really terrifying! Please share your memorable moments, too!
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