It seems to me this summer has been all about change.  Transition from the school year to a family beach vacation in June, vacation to grad school in late June, school to stay-at-home-mom mode in July, home to a wild West adventure in August, and finally, the wild West to back to work.  As summer melts into fall, it's time for me to settle back into routine at last- an early morning communion with my Father, a bittersweet goodbye to my sleeping son, a busy day of teaching smart kiddos, and too-quick nights of sweet family time, easy dinners, and packed lunches.  As this last weekend of summer flashes by, my heart is filled with too many emotions.

The sadness is there, of course, along with the mix of excitement, anticipation, and anxiety that comes with the start of a new school year.  But looming big and dark is the realization that it's indescribably hard and painful to leave my boy to go to work. As a result, it's easy to slip into dread, fear, sadness, and guilt this time of year.  I found myself approaching that place last night and gave myself this three-point pep talk.  My hope is that it helps someone else, too.

Point #1: I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord; and he delighteth in his way.
Psalm 37:23

I've laid my heart, my plans, my desires before my King over and over and over.  And each time, He gently makes my path clear.  I trust Him.  And I know, beyond all doubt, that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  And that means that He will bless and shelter my family in this next transition, just how He has in the past.  My trust and faith is in Him and His word.

If you surrender your life to Christ and lay your plans before Him, He will guide your footsteps.  It is a promise repeated in His word.  Whatever transition you find yourself in, whatever the circumstances, whatever others may say, and whatever your feelings may be, calm and quiet yourself in His promises.

So my heart is out there with all you mommas, educators, students, and other peeps dealing with a big change right now.  I hope this pep talk helped somebody other than me.  And hey, if you need prayer, just leave a note in the comments and I'm on it.  And you can say a prayer for me, too.

I'm telling on myself tonight.

I feel like God decides to reveal my brokenness to me in small pieces.  It's like the Holy Spirit will convict me of a sin we overcome that small thing, and then all of the sudden my eyes are opened to another area of weakness.  And we start the journey all over again.

Let me explain.  So a few months ago, God brought to my attention (again) that I was gossiping.  Every time I would gossip, He would nudge my heart.  Even when I prefaced the gossip with excuses like:
"just between us..."
"We are FAMILY (so it's OK)..."
"I need to get this off my chest..."

It was TOUGH.  I felt AWFUL.  I repented and asked God to help me keep my mouth shut.  But it wasn't easy and I messed up a lot.  I bought a book.  I talked to my husband about it but talked to God more.  I read my Bible.  And over a few weeks, I felt myself getting better, able to stop my tongue before it crossed the line, thankful for God's grace.  Of course I still mess up, way more than I care to share.  But once my tongue was (more) in check, God brought another area of my life to my attention, and we did it over again.

His nudges aren't unto condemnation.  But I do feel a dose of humility each time it happens; I have to breathe in grace a little deeper, spend more time alone.  Listen.  Pray.  Read.  And understand, once again, how much I need a Savior.

It's a beautiful cycle.  I am so thankful.  The latest lesson in the Holy Spirit Academy hit me pretty hard a few days ago:

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
1 Corinthians 13: 7 (AMPC)

Love is ever ready to believe the best of every person.
That is what stood out to me.  I want to be a lover of people so badly.  It is my heart's desire- more than anything.  This verse came up in my memory this week and suddenly, I saw another mess, another broken piece of myself.  I remembered, in a rush, all of the times this week that I made poor assumptions about people I dearly love.  I was cynical, I jumped to conclusions, I "read too much" into a conversation, a post on social media, a silence. As a result, my relationships were weakened and my joy was stolen.  But I didn't recognize it until God revealed it to me.  He is so good like that.

Love is ever ready to believe the best of every person.
Of course this verse is not instructing me to be a blind follower, blissful in ignorance.  I am always to pursue wisdom in my relationships.  But too often I jump straight to skepticism.  I often forget to empathize, to see things from some else's point of view.  I just assume, perhaps not the worst about that person, but something not good.  And that is not wisdom.  And it is certainly not love.

Love is ever ready to believe the best of every person.
To be a lover like Jesus, I must believe the best about someone- their motives, their situations, their perceptions.  When I become cynical, the relationship is damaged and my joy is immediately gone.  That was my biggest takeaway.  I found these negative thoughts about others were stealing my joy, and as selfish as it sounds, that is the biggest reason I want to work on my thought life more.  Joy is priceless to me.  Peace is priceless to me.  I want to pursue peace with my fellow human beings not only to love them well, but also to preserve joy and peace in my relationships.  So assumptions have to go.

Father, thank you for your never ending mercy and grace.  Teach me to be a lover of people.  A Lover like You. Help me to be ready to believe the best of every person.  Show me when I am being cynical, making assumptions, or believing something to be true that is not.  Thank You for being my Teacher.  Thank You for Your grace.  In the Name of Jesus, Amen.